5 Forms Of Emotional Abuse Hard To Recognize

There are several forms of emotional abuse. Even if they do not leave marks on the skin, they all have a strong psychic impact. The effects are not noticed until after a long period of time.

People who are emotionally abused for much of their lives recover much harder. Overcoming the traumas suffered can take years.

Emotional abuse is very complicated. If a person hits you, you know instinctively that you need to get out of that situation as soon as possible to defend your physical integrity. In the case of psychological abuse, things are different.

Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse shows “discreet” signs: constant irony, subtle contempt, the feeling of inner emptiness…

At first, the emotionally abused person does not think of himself as a victim who should take steps to get out of that situation, but feels guilty. It often happens that she thinks, “I’m probably wrong about something that treats me like that.”

Later, more complex and exhausting feelings may arise. Many people have thoughts like: “I don’t know how to proceed. I know I’m bothered by what’s going on, but it’s such a subtle situation that I really have no idea how to deal with it. “

Finally, victims of psychological abuse let the toxic situation continue. They wait until they accumulate a collection of small wounds, emotional blows and contempt. Then, without realizing it, they end up feeling completely “disabled” emotionally.

It is very difficult to get rid of psychological abuse. That is why we present below 5 forms of emotional abuse that are important to recognize, be aware of and react to.

1. The aggressor is perfect and charming – you can’t rise to his level

People who abuse their dominance are overly concerned about their public image. In crowds, in public, this individual is the most charming, sociable, kind, clever, empathetic and attentive. These qualities seem to define him to such an extent that you doubt that anyone would believe you if you said something bad about him.

That is why many people see reality far too late. It is almost impossible to recognize an emotional aggressor at first sight. But over time, the clearest sign will be the way he treats you every day. The small manifestations of his contempt and the attempts to undermine you will become visible.

Aggressive behaviors will not be limited to private space. The aggressor will not shy away from making jokes about you in public either. This is a way for the individual in question to try to draw attention to himself and create a positive image by sacrificing yours.

Meanwhile, the abused person risks following a difficult path. Little by little, day after day, it falls into a deep abyss of psychological abuse.

2. Distorted empathy: one of the most common forms of emotional abuse

Many argue that aggressors do not empathize – but they do not. In general, individuals who emotionally abuse and manipulate others are aware of the emotions of their victims.  Thus, they read your feelings easily and quickly, using them against you.

Here is an example. You had a hard day at work. When you get home, your partner immediately notices your discomfort, sadness or depression. But instead of helping you and providing you with emotional support, he blames you for the situation you are in. Moreover, it is possible to erode your confidence even more in order to have absolute control over you.

“It simply came to our notice then. You never know how to defend yourself. You always sit back and rely on me for anything. Without me, you can’t handle any situation. “

Given the above, it is important to remember that empathy is a positive trait and useful only when used to help others. It should not be used to deepen the depression and despair of those around you.

3. Always compare yourself to other people, no matter what you do

“Why did you stop the car right on the road?” You are just like your sister: clumsy and a disaster at the wheel. ”

Whatever you do, the aggressor always compares you to another person, but not in a positive way.

At the same time, he often compares his current partners with his former relationships in order to cause even more suffering to the former.

4. Never put yourself in your place

This is true for both small and important things. The aggressor can never see the situation from your point of view and cannot put himself in your place.

As already mentioned, the person who abuses you emotionally can show extraordinary empathy. But it will never be able to establish a “connection”. Thus, the aggressor does not care if certain things hurt you or if he himself makes you suffer. 

5. Your goals, tastes and habits have no value in his eyes

Ridicule or ironic comments about your goals are other forms of emotional abuse. This is a way for that person to show control over you.

When a person criticizes you and ridicules your preferences, dreams or enthusiasm for a new project, his goal is simple and toxic: to destroy your self-esteem.

An important thing to remember is that a person with low self-esteem is easier to control. This is exactly what individuals who “practice” various forms of emotional abuse are looking for. In essence, this is the target of the attack: your ability to value yourself.

Remember all the behaviors described above. If you notice these manifestations in your partner, take immediate action to protect your self-esteem, identity, mental health and emotional well-being.

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