How To Forgive And Forget In Five Steps

Forgiveness is essential for us to truly enjoy life.  Only if we manage to forgive those who have wronged us and try to move on will we be happy again. Here’s how to forgive and forget the deeds that hurt you.

Unfortunately, forgiveness is not always a simple matter. Only when you manage to leave behind what hurt you do you begin to heal. Forgiving, you leave behind the wounds and scars that burden you.

You suffered enough when the person in question hurt you. Why would you continue to hold on to this negativity and give more importance to chance than necessary? Didn’t you feel enough pain when you were wronged? Why would you continue to hurt yourself?

Forgiveness allows you to heal. This gesture requires courage, love and understanding. In today’s article we invite you to discover how to forgive the people who made you suffer.

How to forgive in 5 steps

1. Accept that hatred and resentment affect your life

How to forgive? First, you need to recognize that the individual who hurt you has had an impact on your life.

If you choose to forgive, keep in mind that you are doing this primarily for yourself. You are the one who deserves to have a quiet life. Do not forgive those who sin against you for their sake, but for your sake.

When it builds up, this negative energy spoils our mood and makes us feel grumpy and resentful. Find a way to overcome your resentments so that when you forgive, you are honest.

First of all, keep your temper and do not allow stress to overwhelm you. Try to think of something reassuring and replace the negative images with positive ones. Do not avoid or minimize the situation, but face it without giving it more importance than it deserves.

2. Decide if it’s worth forgiving

You can’t want to know how to forgive a person if you are not determined to take this step. Do you still have doubts?

Think hard, visualize what your life will be like when you manage to let go of resentments, and commit to achieving that goal. Remember, forgiveness is not synonymous with forgetting, and certain mistakes can never be forgotten.

But promise yourself that you will not allow these problems to affect your life in the long run. Focus on the present moment and try to live without resentment. Forgiveness is not an action we take for the sake of the person who hurt us, but to protect our own well-being.

You are responsible for the decisions you make. Do not allow those who have hurt you to have power over you. Choose forgiveness, ie the less painful option, but do not continue a relationship if it hurts you.

To forgive means not to allow the person who hurt you to have power over you and leave the conflict behind.

3. Express your feelings

It is essential to drive away negative feelings and not resent the person who has hurt you. Try to avoid confrontations, as they can cause additional problems. Whatever you choose to do, take into account your well-being.

Before talking to the person who hurt you again, clear your mind and think carefully about what you want to say to him. Don’t censor your thoughts until you start feeling good again. Express your dissatisfaction verbally or express your anger and resentment in writing.

You have the right to exceed the measure. Express your pain freely, even if in the end you choose not to show him or her what you wrote. Lay down your thoughts for your sake, so that you can free yourself from negativity and pain.

Last but not least, don’t depreciate yourself. You deserve to be treated with respect. Accept your negative thoughts and feelings and express them without hesitation.

4. Accept your flaws

The negative emotions you repress hurt you more and make forgiveness impossible. These include sadness, humiliation, rejection and despair. Accept that you feel these emotions and try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

Sometimes we judge others too harshly and do not try to imagine how we would have acted if we had been in the same situation as them. Maybe, if we do this exercise, we will see that the only possible option would have been to do something we don’t like.

Ask questions openly. Consider similar situations in the past in which you felt the same way. Make sure that what happened deserves the importance you give it.

You may have values, opinions, thoughts and feelings that you do not share with others. This does not mean that you have to try to justify their behavior, but still try to accept that a person is not defined only by the mistakes he makes.

5. Try to get this episode out of your mind

Get on the road and don’t look back. Forgiveness takes time, it is a process that we must internalize. Some of us forgive faster, while others need more time. Only you know when you will be able to forget everything that happened to you, but you must give yourself the opportunity to forgive and leave the anger behind.

Tell the person who hurt you that you forgive him. Only then will you feel free again. Forgiveness will allow you to free yourself from the elements that negatively affect you and prevent you from having healthy relationships and a happy life.